Oh man, the blog. It is so hard to see.
I feel like I need to say something on his behalf about how much everyone meant to him – I mean I believe I was close enough to relay the message as he would want it told.
That all of them, everyone he encountered through his tours, he connected with in music he was so touched by. I would watch him get a message or email from someone he met once, or someone he worked with for a week, and it never failed that he would say “yes! I love that man/woman” and would be genuinely warmed by the contact of someone he clearly appreciated.
To his closer friends, oh man you guys he loved you. He loves showing me things you’d done together, he told me countless stories with such genuine excitement. And of course he often spoke of how he felt his talent was inferior to all of yours. Which if course I wouldn’t tolerate for a second. Dude was damn good. I have some songs you all need to hear, some stuff he might be embarrassed about but I know from the look in his eye the night before he passed that he knew he was making sounds he was proud of. He was on the verge of making so much more too, and probably the only regret I really have is not convincing him to finish a full project sooner. But he was busy also helping me feel good about my music and helping us get out there too. We all had good ideas and a bit of a community going surrounding Chris and my goal now is to take that motivation and inspiration he gave us and keep on running.
Also while Chris’ death is extremely personal to me, I feel all of you right now. The blogs are freaking me out big time, seeing people I’ve never seen before grieving him and singing their praises. It feels very strange but at the same time I know that if you felt touched by him at all then he was goddamn stoked on you too.
Yeah long story short, Chris loves you. He never new how rad he was but he’s seeing this come out now and he’s probably half thrilled to finally see how things really were and half super pissed that he didn’t express himself musically more without fear of judgment.
In his last hours he was very happy, very comfortable, and left us peacefully.
I love him more than you are actually supposed to be able to love someone.
I miss him. So yeah, someone bring him back if you can. Cool. Thanks.
3 responses to “Message from Rena”
Im one of the strangers that never had any connection to Chris, but feel the pain from his passing. I only saw him when he played guitar for Women in sf a couple of times. I got a vibe from him that was genuine, definitely of a man who is kind and loves to play sick ass music. After reading these memorial posts, the way people described Chris and everything, I feel like I have a lot in common with him, and it saddens me that someone such as him had his life cut so quickly…it’s completely unfair and my heart goes out to the family, friends and fans for the loss of a good person. I really wish he got to finish his own project…would of loved to hear some of his ambient guitar work.